My Two Mormon Cents

The First Annual Greg Mortenson Medal

2011-02-24T11:58:00.013-06:00

I have a few passions in life. Two of those passions are books and education. I've decided to honor a book each year that I feel has best contributed to education. The books may be new or old, but it will reflect the one that I've read that year that's touched me the most in regards to education. The first book I have chosen is Three Cups of Tea: One Man’s Mission to Promote Peace . . . One School at a Time. In honor of the man about whom it is written, I've decided to name this award the Greg Mortenson Medal. Much like the Newbury Medal, Caldecott Medal, and Printz Award, the Mortenson Medal is named after someone who has influenced that sphere greatly. I believe Greg Mortenson has done much for education around the world. So here's to Three Cups of Tea, the 2010 recipient of the Greg Mortenson Medal.

In this amazing detailed account of one man’s mission to bring an end to terrorism through the intellectual weapon of education, David Oliver Relin tells the story of Greg Mortenson’s journey across the middle east. Mortenson’s entire life was changed by a failed K2 summit. After promising the people of Korphe, a little village that took him in and saved his life, that he would come back and build them a school, he came back to fulfill that promise. He encounters various roadblocks that almost bring an early end to his vow that include such things as the Taliban, the government, people from other villages, and finances. Mortenson not only builds a school for Korphe, but he continues his benevolence across the region.

The book’s title comes from a practice of offering visitors tea. One of the people Mortenson meets, Haji Ali, explains, “The first time you share tea with a Balti, you are a stranger. The second time you take tea, you are an honored guest. The third time you share a cup of tea, you become family, and for our family, we are prepared to do anything, even die.”

Mortenson was in Pakistan during the 9/11 attacks in New York City. He was in that region many times following the attacks as well. He responds to the military force used to combat the war by saying, “If we try to resolve terrorism with military might and nothing else, then we will be no safer than we were before 9/11. If we truly want a legacy of peace for our children, we need to understand that this is a war that will ultimately be won with books, not with bombs.”

After reading accounts of how far some people go to gain education, I have received a greater appreciation for what I know and the comfort in which I have gained my education. He reveals conditions under which children receive an education. Dilapidated huts with mud floors are their classrooms. No pencil or paper can be found, so sticks and dirt are used for math. One man sends his son on a raft made of goat bladders down a raging river to float him to a town with a functioning school. He may never see his son again.

While this book has much to say about the importance of education, it also reveals a lot about the Islamic faith. I developed much respect for those who practice Islam. Many false notions were cleared up in my mind. I have found my “holy envy,” or thing from another religion which I wish I imitated. There are many areas in which Muslims worship that can improve me as a Christian. The area that stands out to me the most is that of prayer. Relin tells a story of Mortenson joining his new-found friends in prayer at a gas station. The book states, “The word ‘Muslim’ means, literally, ‘to submit.’ . . . But for the first time, kneeling among one hundred strangers, watching them wash away not only impurities, but also, obviously, the aches and cares of their daily lives, he glimpsed the pleasure to be found in submission to a ritualized fellowship of prayer. . . . With Manzoor he knelt and crossed his arms to address Allah respectfully. The men around him weren’t looking at the advertisement on the wall, he knew, they were looking inward. Nor were they regarding him. As he pressed his forehead against the still-warm ground, Greg Mortenson realized that, for the first moment during all his days in Pakistan, no one was looking at him as an outsider. No one was looking at him at all.” I’ve found the Muslim faith to be beautiful. It preaches tolerance, acceptance, brotherhood, and mutual improvement.

After his enormous contributions to Pakistan, Greg Mortenson received Pakistan’s highest civilian honor, the Star of Pakistan, from Pakistan’s President, Asif Ali Zardari. If you are interested, Mortenson wrote Stones into Schools: Promoting Peace with Books, Not Bombs, in Afghanistan and Pakistan, a follow-up book that picks up right after Three Cup of Tea and documents his efforts up to the end of 2009. Mortenson’s work has spread from Pakistan and now goes into Afghanistan, Kyrgyzstan, and Mongolia. More information on Greg Mortenson and the Central Asia Institute can be found at www.gregmortenson.com or www.ikat.org.

Honor Books

In addition to giving the Mortenson Medal, I've also decided to honor other books that add greatly to the world of education. This year I've decided to give two books the Greg Mortenson Honor Medal.

Why Gender Matters by Leonard Sax

Boys and girls are different. This we know. But how are they different? Why Gender Matters explains basic academic, psychological, emotional, and biological differences between males and females, particularly in children. The reason this book is amazing is that it reaches such a broad audience. As a future parent and educator, this book is priceless to me. Not only does it give information and advice on how to teach boys and girls effectively in the classroom setting, but it also informs parents on how to teach their children at home. Differences in discipline and praise are covered. Several differences that I found particularly interesting included girls' hearing being more sensitive than boys', boys' eyes being hardwired to gravitate more towards dull colors while girls' eyes are designed to be more captivated by bright and vibrant colors, how boys and girls have differences in how and where they get involved in drugs, and how boys respond more to restrictive punishments (such as grounding) than girls. Every parent and teacher should own this book.

The Hurried Child by David Elkind

This one leans more toward parenting than education, but it offers significant insights into education. The main point that Elkind makes in this book is that children today are being rushed through childhood and forced to grow up quickly. Although the book was written in the 1980s, it is still very much applicable today. One of the things that stood out to me in this book is his mentioning of parents’ and teachers’ infatuation with having their children speak and read as young as possible. Whether or not a child speaks before or after a year of age will not determine that child’s intelligence or speaking abilities 20 years down the road. If a child isn’t reading by first grade, who cares? Eventually, they will want to read. They will want to keep up with their friends. They will want to read signs and menus. They will come to you, and their desire will allow them to learn quickly. Many children are forced to read, and that is their perception of reading: torture. We are raising a generation of children who hate to read. But they can read nonetheless. As if that is the only thing that matters. The point is that your child or student simply having the ability to read doesn’t arm them with the desire to read. Is that a victory? Just something to consider. Anyway, this book discusses everything from sports to summer camps. Parents should read this book before our 4-year-olds are forced to apply for college.

Lucifer's Lies: Lessons Learned from The Screwtape Letters

2010-06-23T22:56:00.012-05:00

I love moments when you’re sitting in a classroom setting and someone says something that hits you like a ton of spiritual bricks. This scenario happened to me last semester as I was sitting in the Gospel Doctrine class in my ward. To start off the lesson, our teacher asked for a few volunteers; I was picked. We went into the hall, and the teacher explained to the three of us that we were going to be “selling” a product to the rest of the class. My “product” was self-doubt. We couldn’t say what out product was exactly; we could only describe what it could do for them. As I got up in front of the class, I decided to put a spin on my product. I said something along the lines of, “My product will help you notice everyone else around you and their talents. You’ll be more appreciative of the abilities of those that surround you. President Hinckley did counsel us to ‘forget ourselves.’ King Benjamin tells us that ‘when we are in the service of our fellow beings, we are only in the service of our God.’ My product will make you less about ‘me, me, me’ and more about helping those around you to notice their talents. If you buy my product, you will take the focus off of you and move it to those around you.” Out of the three, mine was the overwhelming choice. Then we unveiled our “products.” Most people weren’t shocked with the other two; they had figured they were less-than-admirable attributes. However, mine was a shocker. As I revealed mine to be “self-doubt,” many were floored. One guy turned to me with a look of disgust and stated, “I thought you were selling ‘charity!’” It is about his response that I wish to blog today.

I must explain how I came up with my sneaky sales pitch. I’ve recently finished my favorite book outside of holy writ, The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis. To give a brief background of the book, it is about an apprentice devil, Wormwood, that receives counsel from his uncle, the master devil Screwtape. They follow individuals (patients or creatures, as they call them), and try to pry them away from God (or as Screwtape calls Him, the Enemy) and Christianity. Screwtape does not take the blatant road; rather, he slips in subtleties to lure one down a seemingly harmless, yet devastatingly destructive, path. I got my inspiration from Screwtape during this little exercise in Sunday School. Let me share some highlights I found while reading The Screwtape Letters that can help us detect the all-too-subtle tricks of Old Nick. Here are just ten lies that Satan will tell us to pry us away from our eternal prize.

Lie #1: How and to whom you pray makes no difference.

Notice that most of the time he doesn’t try to tell us not to pray. He simply wants to make our prayers as least effective as possible. Prayer is the direct communication we have with our Heavenly Father. Satan will try to disrupt that communication or devalue it as much as possible. When I think of disrupting prayer, my first thought always comes from Star Wars. When the two forces are attacking each other, the first command given is usually along the lines of “Take out the communication towers!” They understand that without communication, it is nearly impossible to defeat the opposing force. There is no unification. Thus, we can see Satan’s strong desire to divorce men from their God. Firstly, Screwtape draws attention to the position of mens’ bodies when they pray. He instructs Wormwood to put in the creature’s mind that it doesn’t matter what position you are in. He quotes Coleridge as saying “that he did not pray ‘with moving lips and bended knees’ but merely ‘composed his spirit to love’ and indulged ‘a sense of supplication’.” Screwtape goes on to explain, “That is exactly the sort of prayer we want... At the very least, they can be persuaded that the bodily position makes no difference to their prayers; for they constantly forget, what you must always remember, that they are animals and that whatever their bodies do affects their souls.” I hear a lot of people say, “I don’t need to pray a certain way. I can do it in my bed or in my car or standing up and call it good.” There is some truth to that. God wants to hear from you. But here is my point: if God was in the room with you, would you have the I-can-do-it-whatever-way-I-want attitude? My guess is “probably not.” Which brings me to my next point about prayer.

What you say and to whom you say it is important. Lewis makes a point of this when he writes Screwtape saying, “Keep the patient from the serious intention of praying altogether...This is best done by encouraging him to remember, or to think he remembers, the parrot-like nature of his prayers in childhood.” To me there is a difference between saying your prayers and praying. I have been guilty of simply saying my prayers. However, I have had the sweet experience of praying to my God and Eternal Father. We must understand who it is to whom we pray. Screwtape points this out when he gives the following advice to his nephew, “I have known cases where what the patient called his ‘God’ was actually located -- up and to the left at the corner of the bedroom ceiling, or inside his own head, or in a crucifix on the wall. But whatever the...object, you must keep him praying to it - to the thing that he has made, not to the Person who has made him.” When we truly pray to the Grand Creator and our personal Father in Heaven, we will understand our purpose more. I know I have. My intimate conversations with my Father have been the only way I have made it through 22 years in this world.

Lie #2: Fear is a part of life. Get used to it.

President Franklin Delano Roosevelt said, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” Lewis echoes this inversely through Screwtape when he tells young Wormwood, “Fear becomes easier to master when the patient’s mind is diverted from the thing feared to the fear itself.” If Satan can master fear by getting us to forget the things in front of us, we should try that much harder to be rational when considering our difficulties.

An addendum to the last paragraph, Screwtape makes an interesting parallel. He tells Wormwood, “Hatred is best combined with Fear... The more he fears, the more he will hate.” We tend to couple those two together in our lives. We feel threatened by those we hate, and we hate those who threaten us.

Another quote from His Deceitfulness says, “[God] wants men to be concerned with what they do; our business is to keep them thinking about what will happen to them.” This solidifies the principle taught in the Book of Mormon by Father Lehi for us to “act for [ourselves] and not be acted upon” (2 Nephi 2:26). We must take control of our lives and accept responsibility for our actions. In our world, everyone is trying to pass the buck to someone else. As Screwtape points out, God is concerned with what we do. Machiavelli’s theory of the ends justifying the means can be tossed out. Satan wants us to think of our reputation, our pride, our ego. If he can have us fear losing our status rather than our integrity, he wins.

Simply put, be careful not to let Satan gain control. President Boyd K. Packer stated, “We should not be afraid of what is ahead... [We] need not live in fear. Fear is the opposite of faith.” Don’t let him rob you of your life; don’t feed the fear. Later in The Screwtape Letters, Screwtape says, “The creatures are always accusing one another of wanting ‘to eat the cake and have it’; but thanks to our labours they are more often in the predicament of paying for the cake and not eating it.” We buy into him and his scare tactics so much. Do we reap anything from that? No; we leave that cake on the table to get stale along with our hope.

Lie #3: Time is not a valuable commodity.

Of course he would attack our time. It’s how we prove ourselves to God and show our faith in Him. It’s how we return to Him. If Satan can have us squander time, he can have us squander our chances of returning to our Father. Screwtape states, “You can make him do nothing at all for long periods.” This is so true. Movies. Television. Facebook. Sports. All of these things can be used for good purposes or can act as black holes for our time and duties.

We must also make sure we are acting now to ensure our future. As Screwtape reminds us, “The duty of planning the morrow’s work is today’s duty; though its material is borrowed from the future, the duty, like all duties, is in the Present.” To look now for what may come and plan accordingly is not an easy thing to do. However, it is much better than the alternative. We can’t simply sit on our hope chest and wait for these things to happen. Again, Screwtape offers great insight from a devil’s perspective, “[God] does not want men to give the Future their hearts, to place their treasure in it. We do.” Those sneaky little demons want us to always have our eyes a mile down the road. They don’t want us to see that pothole that’s about to pop our tires and prevent us from that goal a mile away. We should plan now for life’s potholes. Maybe we can swerve away from them. If not, at least we’ll have a plan if we do hit one.

Lie #4: Fulfilling callings isn’t important.

I love callings. I think it’s a fascinating system. Other churches should give everyone something to do. I’ve been able to serve as a ward missionary, youth Sunday School teacher, Gospel Doctrine Instructor, YSA Representative, bulletin board coordinator, activities committee, home teacher, and I currently serve as my ward’s Sunday School President. I’ve had callings that would take maybe five minutes per week. My present calling consumes much more time than that; however, I am loving it!

Unfortunately, not everyone is as pumped about callings. I won’t even begin to step onto my home teaching soapbox. You can refer to my previous post, “Hometeaching: No Greater Call”, for that one. Some feel that their callings are too small to even matter. Others feel their callings take up way too much time, and they place that on the back burner. Both mentalities are wrong. We must be careful of this lukewarmness. Screwtape understands this principle of being lukewarm when he says, “In this state, your patient will not omit, but he will increasingly dislike, his religious duties. He will think about them as little as he feels he decently can beforehand, and forget them as soon as possible when they are over.”

We may not stop doing our duties, but our disdain will fester until we lose our faith in the very reasons for which we accepted the calling in the first place. Do we forget about them ASAP? Can a man be an Elder’s Quorum President on Sunday and forget about it the rest of the week? Not an effective one. I am always grateful to EQPs that were and are available to me whenever I need them. Recently, I needed advice from an old home teacher who also served as my EQP. At midnight in the middle of the week he opened his door to me. He’s not even my home teacher anymore! He didn’t NEED to do it! He followed the Savior’s counsel when He said, “And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain” (Matthew 5:41). This man lives the “second-mile standard.” He goes above and beyond his “duties.” If Satan can have us hate what we do for the Kingdom of God, it’s probably more successful to his empire than if we didn’t do it at all. As Moroni teaches us, “For behold, if a man being evil giveth a gift, he doeth it grudgingly; wherefore it is counted unto him the same as if he had retained the gift; wherefore he is counted evil before God” (Moroni 7:8).

Lie #5: Committing small sins aren’t that big of a deal.

Alma taught us that it is “by small and simple things are great things brought to pass” (Alma 37:6). I’d also venture to say that small and simple sins lead to the commission of serious transgressions. C.S. Lewis gives the true purpose Satan has for wanting us to commit the tiny sins, “But do remember, the only thing that matters is the extent to which you separate the man from the Enemy [God]. It does not matter how small the sins are provided that their cumulative effect is to edge the man away from the Light and out into Nothing.” He simply wants to separate us from our Father because he is separated from Him. We’re told in the scriptures that “he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself” (2 Nephi 2:27). Then Screwtape says an interesting thing, “Murder is no better than cards if cards can do the trick.” What are our cards? What does Satan use to distance us from God? What keeps you from reading your scriptures? Praying? Doing service for others? Performing your calling? Going to the temple? Beware of the cards Satan has up his sleeve.

In an April 2008 General Conference address, President Dieter F. Uchtdorf stated, “I have learned that the difference between happiness and misery in individuals, in marriages, and families often comes down to an error of only a few degrees.” One of the most famous quotes from The Screwtape Letters says, “Indeed the safest road to Hell is the gradual one -- the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts.” We must be on our top game to detect the cunnings of the cunning one. Turn to the Lord. His signposts are marked; His path is clear; His way is straight.

Lie #6: Recognize your humility.

“Beware of pride.” President Ezra Taft Benson is known for this landmark address. It is one of my personal favorites. Humility is the opposite of pride; hence, we should be humble in all of our actions. Satan knows this. What will he do? He’ll try to exploit our humility and twist it like he does everything else. There is a point in the book where Wormwood is worried because he sees humility in his patient. Screwtape, seeing it as a last resort, gives the following counsel, “Your patient has become humble; have you drawn his attention to the fact?... Catch him at the moment when he is really poor in spirit and smuggle into his mind the gratifying reflection, ‘By jove! I’m being humble’, and almost immediately pride -- pride at his own humility -- will appear.If he awakes to the danger and tries to smother this new form of pride, make him proud of his attempt -- and so on, through as many stages as you please.” This was an eye-opening passage to me. Do we ever feel wronged because we see people succeeding that aren’t keeping the commandments? It’s almost like the prodigal son. We feel like the older brother, “I’m the good one! Where’s MY reward?” We become proud of our own righteousness and spirituality. That’s how Satan robs it from us.

Now comes where I got my inspiration for my Sunday School sales pitch. Screwtape tells Wormwood that his patient probably does really have some talents. But then he tells Wormwood to “fix in his mind the idea that humility consists in trying to believe those talents to be less valuable than he believes them to be.” This is when we hide our light under a bushel. I’ve seen people that can play the piano, yet they refuse to mention it to anyone because they’re “not that good” and “other people could do much better.” You never know where your talents could lead you nor the lives they could touch. Be humble. But make sure your humility isn’t strangled by the pride in your humility.

Lie #7: You have no defense against Satan

In Ephesians, we’re told about the armor of God. All of the armor is defensive, save one: the sword of the Spirit. The Spirit is our one sure defense from the adversary. Will we be tempted? Of course. But because of our Constant Companion, those temptations will have no power over us. Screwtape refers to the Holy Ghost as “the asphyxiating cloud,” calling it “the Enemy’s most barbarous weapon.”

We must surround ourselves with things of the Spirit. Our homes must be sanctuaries. They must be that shelter from the storm. I know I want my home to be. I want people to be able to come to my home and feel safe, to feel surrounded by the Spirit, even if they don’t recognize it as such. When Wormwood’s patient begins to date a Christian woman, panic sets in for the apprentice devil. Screwtape then goes on a tirade with his disdain for the member of the Godhead being present in her home, “The whole place reeks of that deadly odour. The very gardener... is beginning to acquire it. Even guests, after a weekend visit, carry some of the smell away with them. The dog and cat are tainted with it.” I really think Satan hates the Holy Ghost, especially when He influences us to do good.

There are several ways we can invite the Spirit into our lives. I will focus on the two Screwtape mentions: music and silence. Screwtape exclaims, “Music and silence -- how I detest them both!” I love music. I’ve felt the Spirit so many times while listening to both the lyrics and the melody of some songs. I know why he hates it: because it is beautiful. That leads to the next things he hates: silence. If the adversary can replace the heavenly sound of uplifting music with something that simply produces noise, he can squelch the Spirit out of our lives. We live in a fast-paced society. Sometimes we don’t take the time to stop and listen to the Greatest Gift we have been given: the Holy Ghost. He won’t compete with your adoration of the world. There are plenty of people who desire to listen to Him. Be one of them.

Lie #8: If we give ourselves to God, we lose our own identity.

The Savior taught, “He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it” (Matthew 10:39). I want to let Screwtape be the main one to teach this principle. He says to Wormwood, “As a preliminary to detaching him from the Enemy, you wanted to detach him from himself... Of course I know that the Enemy also wants to detach men from themselves, but in a different way... When He talks of their losing their selves, He only means abandoning the clamour of self-will; once they have done that, He really gives them back all their personality, and boasts (I’m afraid, sincerely) that when they are wholly His they will be more themselves than ever. Hence, while He is delighted to see them sacrificing even their innocent wills to His, He hates to see them drifting away from their own nature for any other reason. And we should always encourage them to do so.” I honestly don’t know how else to explain this or to expound it further. I’m going to let Mr. Lewis stand alone here.

One point that I do want to make referring to another quote is deciding whom we worship. As mentioned before, when we give ourselves to God, we become more ourselves than ever. Later in the book, Screwtape mentions something that his Father (Satan) might worship. What the thing is isn’t the point of focus, it’s the line that follows. Screwtape says he’d worship it “if he worshipped anything but himself.” When we honor God, God honors us. When we honor Satan (by not honoring God), we receive no honor from him. He is an island. He worries about no one but himself.

Lie #9: Knowing is enough.

In 1957, “I Am a Child of God” was performed in front of Elder Spencer W. Kimball. When he heard the lyrics, “Teach me all that I must know to live with him someday,” he asked Naomi Randall, the song’s lyricist, to change it to read, “Teach me all that I must do to live with him someday.” President Kimball later declared, “To know isn't enough. The devils know and tremble; the devils know everything. We have to do something.” As a poem once said, “Satan knows there’s a God and believes in Him, too. So what’s the difference between Satan and you?” The answer is simple: action.

When advising Wormwood to keep his subject in the stagnant stage, he counseled, “The great thing is to prevent his doing anything. As long as he does not convert it into action, it does not matter how much he thinks about this new repentance.” He will do anything to keep us from converting the thoughts the Spirit places in our minds into action. Eventually Satan wants us to become desensitized to the promptings and feelings of the Holy Ghost. Screwtape goes on, “The more often he feels without acting, the less he will be able ever to act, and, in the long run, the less he will be able to feel.” Dormancy will dull our spirit and His.

Lie #10: God and his followers will lose in the end.

Satan is scared of God. Therefore, Satan is scared of those that truly follow God. Screwtape says that they fear “the Church as we see her spread out through all time and space and rooted in eternity, terrible as an army with banners.” He confesses, “That... is a spectacle which makes our boldest tempters uneasy.” If we are to make Satan sit uneasy, we must also be rooted in eternity. We must cleave ourselves unto the Church so we don’t cleave ourselves from our Savior, the general in this great battle.

I know life is hard. Sometimes Satan tempts us to lure us away from our Home on High. Sometimes it’s the Father that gives us trials so we can grow and be shaped into what He knows we can be. Nevertheless, we must press forward. Screwtape reveals a severe weakness in a devil’s plan, “Our cause is never more in danger than when a human, no longer desiring, but still intending, to do our Enemy’s will, looks round upon a universe from which every trace of Him seems to have vanished, and asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys.” Wow. I know there have been times in my life where I don’t seem to be able to see God’s hand in my life. Thankfully, I can say that I still pressed on. As I read that passage, it made me smile to know that I was a thorn in the side of the thorny one. The Prophet Joseph Smith declared, “I was destined to prove a disturber and an annoyer of his kingdom; else why should the powers of darkness combine against me?” (Joseph Smith - History 1:20). May we ever be annoyers and destroyers of his kingdom is my prayer.

Choosing the Better Part

2010-03-01T16:37:00.007-06:00

I had this idea of putting my favorite YouTube videos into a blog. The likes of which would include such classics as Bon Qui Qui, the Walk It Out fosse, and Nick Pitera. However, it occurred to me that such things would be new to no one, nor would it provide any sort of positivity to a person’s day. Sure, you might have laughed a few times. But I can do that any time I want. I decided to put my top five most inspiring YouTube videos into a blog. Keep in mind, these videos are the ones I’ve come up with recently. My mind has probably slipped me, I may have stumbled across another one by the time this is posted, and I have viewed many heart-touching videos that deem worthy of a blog entry; nevertheless, these are ones that I feel express my feelings at the current moment in time.

Dove True Beauty

I remember when I first saw this video. I was floored by the reality (or lack there of) of the beauty industry. I call it an industry for a reason. Dove’s “True Beauty” campaign is wonderful. This video made me ask myself, “What makes beauty? Who is the judge of beauty in the first place?” This directed me to my scriptures. The first verse to come to mind is in Isaiah, “For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of a dry ground: he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him, there is no beauty that we should desire him. (emphasis added)” Surely the Savior had beauty. So how does He judge beauty? The answer is found in 1 Samuel, “For the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart. (emphasis added)” We must make our hearts beautiful. To read a beautiful talk on this subject, click here. It’s a short talk given by Elder Lynn G. Robbins of the Seventy.

Small and Simple Things

I’ve seen this video countless times. However, I’ll never forget a few special times. The first time I saw it was in late April in 2005 at a BYD (Bishop’s Youth Discussion) at Bishop Garrett’s house. The missionaries showed it to the youth of our ward. At this time, I was not allowed to be baptized. It was a very trying time for me. There’s a point in the video where the young man gets baptized. I had to get up and leave the room; it was too painful to watch. The next time I saw it was months later at EFY. This time I was an actually baptized Mormon! I had only been baptized for about a month. I watched the whole thing, and I was elated as I relived my baptism. Then I watched it on my mission. It had a new meaning then, too. I got to witness so many baptisms on my mission, and this video helped to remind me of the importance every baptism carried. I love missionary work. It is in my blood. I am so thankful for Rachael Cherry and her courage to invite me to church and to meet with the missionaries. I can say that it is the thing that brings me the most joy in my life.

P.S. There are two more parts to this video that have a culmination of peoples' testimonies and excerpts from President Eyring's talk. If you have time, I'd suggest looking them up and watching them, too.

None Were With Him

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland is an Apostle of the Lord Jesus Christ. He also happens to be my role model. I watch him every Conference with bated breath. I anxiously await his addresses. I even try to pattern my talks and lessons after him. I love his boldness combined with sweet sincerity and testimony. As a special witness of Jesus Christ, he bears his testimony of the Savior of the world. I am reminded as I watch this video that He truly has descended below them all. It makes me think of my favorite verse in any scriptural cannon, “The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than He?” In my mind, this is the most poignant question any person can ask themselves. He knows perfect empathy. He knows my needs. He comforts me. I know this.

The Healing Power of Forgiveness

I will never forget this General Conference address by President Faust. It has touched me more than possibly any other Conference talk I’ve ever heard. As he humbly recounts the story of the Amish people, President Faust stirs an emotion within me. This talk became a staple of my testimony and, quite frankly, the way I live my life. Less than a year after this address was given, my stepfather was murdered. I was on my mission at the time. It made things even more difficult because I couldn’t be there with my mother. The person responsible for the murder was caught pretty quickly. He had also murdered two other individuals and attempted another. Getting my mother’s letters were so difficult. I could feel the pain and anger she had for this individual. This talk came to mind. I printed out a copy and mailed it to her. I applied this talk to that situation. While I miss my stepdad terribly, I have forgiven his murderer. I hate what happened; I still have emotional outbursts. However, I have allowed myself not to be tormented by the bile we call hate. The young man who took Ed’s life must live with his actions. He must face his Eternal Judge. What justice could my anger possibly provide? I will use that energy in building those around me, especially my mom.

Sweetwater River Crossing

President Gordon B. Hinckley will always be near to my heart. In this video, he recounts the story of two young men that eventually give their lives to help pioneers cross the plains. To hear of such a heroic and selfless act brought me to tears. It proves that testimonies are shown more by your actions than with your words. While I am a convert to the Church and have no pioneer ancestors, I, figuratively speaking, had to cross my own plains. I faced a few treacherous things in my path. I would even say there were times I had a Sweetwater River experience. Thankfully, I, too, had friends that carried me across at the risk of their own peril. I’m glad they didn’t perish. But their actions have and always will stick with me as a permanent part of my testimony.

Life in the Fast Lane

2010-02-04T20:58:00.005-06:00

My blog has often dealt with things that are connected to my church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Occasionally it serves as a sounding board for the humorous aspects of my life. I’d like to add another dimension to it. Sure, it will still have traces of the others, but this blog is dedicated to my personal life over the past month while being at school. I’ve had friends ask me what I’ve been up to and to use my blog to update them on my life; here it is.

I flew to Utah on New Year’s Eve Eve. I was really happy to be reunited with old friends I hadn’t seen in so long. On New Year’s Eve, a group of us went to the mall in Provo for First Night, a big party to celebrate the new year. Jesse, Alli, Craig, Linzy, Hailey, and myself were in this motley crew. While we didn’t really get to do many of the activities around the mall, we did have a fun time. There was a dance, and we got our groove on.

I started classes a few days later, and I was hit by a freight train. I’m in several classes, but two of those are chemistry and physics. It’s been 5 years since I have done any chemistry. I haven’t done physics since the pre-existence! Physics has been hard for me to grasp, but I am doing better. Hopefully my next test comes out better than my last one. I’m also in a Foundations Capstone class. It’s pretty much a random class that’s mandatory; however, I tend to enjoy it. We discuss a lot of moral issues. Case studies are a big part of each class. It gives me an outlet to vent not just my opinions but things that people don’t consider all the time. People in that class love me or hate me. But I enjoy looking at many different aspects of issues. This one is just fun to get people riled up.

Once again, I am involved in the Heber J. Grant Program. See this video to gain an understanding of what we do. To put it in a nutshell, we provide an opportunity for those who have been raised in difficult environments or had other disadvantages overcome those social, physical, spiritual, and personal issues and create a success from what they’ve been given. I am currently serving as the Area Director of the Mentors Area. Basically, every new scholar that comes on campus is paired with a student who has been here for a few semesters. This mentor helps the new student find his or her way around campus, informs about different services offered at the university, and is an instant friend. My duty is to help facilitate these pairings and solve issues that arise. We also have a pilot program in Boston where we provide mentors for high school-age students to prepare them for college life. We also train the mentors and serve as a communication tool for direct contact to the scholars of the program. I get to work with 4 coordinators and 8 mentor managers. They are wonderful people. I work with my coordinators more directly, and I could not survive without them.

Two weeks into the semester, I took a weekend trip to Phoenix, Arizona. It was a blast! I had never been before and had heard good things about it. Eve Mabry, a Tennessee friend of mine that is now a Arizona resident, took me and Kirsten Whitbeck to a place called the Mystery Castle. Frankly put, it’s a house built by a man that was dying of tuberculosis. He left his family to die in the desert and figured he’d build his daughter a “castle” until he died. Well he lived for another 15 years and ended up dying of cancer. Upon his death, his wife and daughter were notified about the house, and they’ve lived there ever since. It is quite...... eclectic. That’s to say the least. It was a fun little attraction.

I also got to hang out with a couple of my boys from EFY, Justin and Jason. I was their counselor during week 10. It was so neat to get to be around them again. They’re such good kids. We went to the Mesa Temple. That temple is so beautiful! We also watched the Joseph Smith movie in the visitors’ center. One of my favorite things of that trip was being able to have scripture study with Jason. I love scripture study, but I love it even more when I discuss what I study. He’s such a bright young man. I got to spend a lot of time with his family, and it helped me see how important raising your children with gospel principles is. They are such great people.

I got called as the Family Home Evening Coordinator for my ward. I didn’t think that it would be a lot of work, but it has its challenges. I have a sister I work with to ensure FHE runs smoothly each week. Each apartment has a coordinator, and that person gets together with their assigned apartment and plans out specifics for that week’s activities. I also have to oversee the once-a-month visit to a bishopric member’s house. I love FHE, so it’s a good thing for me.

With all of this, I resigned myself to not having a social life this semester. However, I was pleasantly surprised when I went on a date with a friend I had in the Heber J. Grant Program. I got quickly interested, and several dates later we became official. Rachel Emmot is her name and being awesome is her game! She’s a senior that’s a health science major. We’re very different in our interests, but we get along famously. Like I said, we’ve been friends for about 8 months already, so it’s like being with a best friend when I’m with her. Our dates are a ton of fun. We’ve gone to the movies, out to eat, ice skating, to get hot chocolate and cupcakes, and done other fun stuff with both of our friends. My favorite thing we do is take walks. If you have never been to Rexburg, you must understand how cold it can get at night. The wind blows and blows and blows. Although it is cold, it is well worth the dialogue. We talk about anything and everything. She is so good to me.

I hope this gives you an idea of what I’ve been doing since leaving my confederate abode. To sum it up, my life is great right now. While I have hard things to do, I have more blessings than ever before. I truly feel as if my cup runneth o’er. Life is happening to me, and it’s happening fast. But I’m enjoying this trip down the autobahn.

What Brown Did For Me

2010-01-14T00:27:00.003-06:00

Now that school is starting up again and I’m on the other side of the country, I’ve reflected on the past 4 months at home. A great blessing I had was employment. While it didn’t look like things were going to work out very well for me in the beginning, the tides shifted. My brother is the manager of a UPS Store in Memphis. He was able to talk to the owner and get me hired on for the 3 months I had remaining. I packed boxes, ran the register, ran miscellaneous errands, and, above all, got to deal with the wonderful citizens of Memphis. I’ve decided to compile a list of life lessons I’ve learned while laboring for The UPS Store.

Lesson 1: Yes, we do have boxes. A lot of them. Could you be more specific?

So many times a person would come in telling me that they need a box. I’d ask, “About what size do you need?” A small percentile would actually give some dimensions. Most would say, “I don’t know; what sizes do you have?” Hmmm... Well, we have over 30 different kinds of boxes. Shall we discuss it over lunch?

Lesson 2: No, you cannot ship a FedEx package through UPS.

Gap. Banana Republic. Old Navy. Many people know that this trifecta are all under the same corporation. FedEx and UPS are like Verizon and AT&T. Actually, we’re not quite as catty as them, but for all intents and purposes, let’s just say they don’t golf together on the weekends.

Lesson 3: Going to FedEx doesn’t hurt my feelings.

Staying on topic, FedEx is a competitor, but they don’t cause me to get paid any less. If you’re disgruntled with the price of a fax, loudly telling me that you’re going to FedEx won’t cause me to miss any sleep. Not to mention, faxes cost twice as much at a FedEx/Kinkos. Just fyi...

Lesson 4: Attitude doesn’t accelerate service.

Let me start by saying that if you are in a hurry, casually mention it as you talk to me. If this is done politely, I will go my absolute fastest to accommodate your schedule. However, if you are ranting about how slow “I” am going (keep in mind that the computer does take its sweet time at moments), I might decide to ask you a frivolous question or for an unnecessary form of id. If your box is teetering on being 20 inches and 20.1 inches, I will enter 21 inches. If you are kind, the reverse will happen. Who knows I might even forget to charge you for that 35 cent envelope you just used. If you’re extremely rude, I will find every possible way to take up more of your time and charge you for everything under the sun. Kindness goes a long way.

Lesson 5: When you open your mouth, I will judge you on what comes out.

Firstly, swearing in public, especially to someone who is serving you (e.g. a cashier), is so uncouth. You do not have to necessarily swear at me. Letting out a four letter word when you drop your purse leads me to believe that your vocabulary is limited to such. Also, never admit to anyone under any circumstance that you were in such a hurry that morning that you neglected to brush your teeth. Even if it is true, please don’t tempt me to laugh at you.

Lesson 6: Cashiers don’t set prices. Oh, and I know how to pack a box.

Having just flown from Memphis into Salt Lake City, this comparison occurred to me. If the person next to you got up and walked to the pilot’s cabin to instruct him or her on how to fly a plane, would you hope the pilot listens to this unruly neighbor? Then why would you come to my place of employment and tell me what or what not would survive a ten-hour truck drive? I’m very aware of how to pack something; that’s why I work here. And please don’t complain to me about prices. I don’t set them; I can’t change them. During the Christmas rush, I heard so many people talk about how expensive shipping was. Oh the price people pay for procrastination. Just because you thought they had changed the date of Christmas this year and decided to ship something to Washington on December 23rd doesn’t make me the bad guy. So you want to mail your son a cake in New Jersey? Oh, you want it there tomorrow by 10:30? That’ll be $140. I’m sorry; no pecan cake tastes that good. My mom would’ve either emailed me the recipe or sent me the ingredients.

The one that boggled my mind the most was the man that wanted to overnight a saxophone to Italy. It would’ve costed him $500. He complained loudly how expensive it was and how he couldn’t see why it would cost so much. Dude, in less than 24 hours, this instrument will be in hands of some Italiano accompanying an oratorio outside the Vatican. Did you expect this to be on the value menu?

Lesson 7: Don’t buy clothes online.

I’ve never done it, but judging by the 30+ drop-off boxes per day filled with incorrectly sized clothes, it doesn’t usually work out so well. Piperlime, 6PM.com, Zappos, QVC, HSN, etc. Considering I didn’t know what half of these were 5 months ago, I’d be cautious.

P.S. X-Box is much more likely to break than PS3. If you don’t believe me, 4 feet of bubble wrap, $2 in peanuts, a 17x11x8, and a $2.55 packing fee is what is needed to send your 8.57 lb. X-Box to the repair center in Mesquite, Texas.

Lesson 8: Don’t ask questions about piercings.

It is never appropriate to ask someone about their tongue ring. “Did it hurt?” No, it tickled a little. Sherry has a tongue ring and a lip ring. One man came in and began to play 20 Questions with her about her piercings. My brother has gauges in his ears, so people would ask about those all the time, too. Find a different topic of conversation.

Lesson 9: Tell the truth about what you are shipping.

We want to help you, but if you lie about what you’re shipping, we’re not responsible for what happens. For instance, “gifts” does not include a live snake. If the said snake is shipped to Buffalo, New York where it is 12 degrees, chances are it will die.

Lesson 10: Don’t order food from McAlister’s Deli at Poplar and Highland.

Every single time it’s amiss. One day they don’t give you a footlong, but you get a six-inch. Other days, they spill your dressing everywhere. No straws. Wrong prices on the bill. Extra toppings not asked for. The list goes on. Even if you think, “This time it’ll be different,” no it won’t.

Tuohy Is the New Hyde

2009-12-27T13:38:00.004-06:00

Movies based on true stories always seem to draw big crowds at the box office. The big one of this year was “The Blind Side.” Sandra Bullock and Tim McGraw starred as the parents in an upper-class Memphis family - the Tuohys - that took in a bigger-than-life black kid from the hood: Michael Oher (played by Quinton Aaron). After coaching, both on the field and in the classroom, Michael captured the attention of every major college in the nation with his sheer strength and prowess passing the pigskin. After attending Ole Miss, Michael got drafted by the NFL where he currently plays for the Baltimore Ravens. Showcased was the Tuohys’ compassion towards a stranger from the streets. They bought him clothes, gave him a room, got him a tutor, included him in their Thanksgiving dinner and every meal thereafter, and, more importantly, gave him a home. Being from Memphis, it made me feel good that such a rough city could produce such a charitable couple. As I watched the movie, it occurred to me that I, too, had been on the receiving end of such solicitude. Let me tell you about my quasi-adoption into the Hyde family.

I never lived on the streets; I have never gone without a bed. I have had a very blessed life. Although my temporal welfare has never really been in jeopardy, I have been dealt my hand of hardships. When I was younger, school was my personal Auschwitz. Shadowlawn Middle School is synonymous with hell in my mind. My freshman year of high school was riddled with jeers and harmful remarks. I began to lose hope in teenage humanity. My sophomore year was when I began my interaction with the Hyde clan. In January 2003, I attended the Tennessee State Thespian Conference. It runs Friday night and all of Saturday. At the end of Friday’s activities, I realized that I did not have a ride home. I approached Jared Hyde and hesitantly asked him if I could get a ride home. He responded by inviting me to his house to spend the night, since we were going right back to the conference the next morning. I asked him if he should call ahead and see if it was fine with his parents. He chuckled and assured me that it would be fine. When we arrived to the Hyde household, I was greeted warmly by the parents and treated very kindly by everyone. That was the first of many, many nights.

During my junior year, I had three of my six classes with Jesse Hyde (Jared’s younger brother and the youngest of the family of 8 children). Even if we wanted to, we couldn’t avoid each other. We started doing projects together in our classes and developed a great friendship. As I started going to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, our affinity was launched to many different levels. Jesse helped me understand things of the gospel. He was the one who eventually baptized me, which created a bond unlike any other I have ever experienced. Although Jesse and I shared a spiritual tie, we also would just plain have fun. We hung out all the time in a variety of venues. I loved the fact that our foundation of friendship was not unifaceted. To express a mote of what Jesse Hyde has done for my life would need a blog website of its own.

Brother Hyde is the enigma of the bunch. He was unlike many fathers I had met. His candid personality caught me off guard. I soon learned that no matter how unceremonious he came across, it was merely the facade of a caring, spiritual, and loving man. He is an example of humility to me. As I recall many of our conversations, he is a man that gains from past experience. He acknowledges and learns from his mistakes. He still stands as a bulwark of practical knowledge.

Sister Hyde seems to be the constant. She is such a powerful woman. I’ve learned so much of what I want to be as a parent from her. She has taught me what works and what doesn’t (making your own mayonnaise does not settle well with the kids). She is a spiritual giant in my eyes. I wish I could cite specific examples about how she has affected me in so many ways, but the only ones that come to mind are very personal and sacred to me. It will suffice to say that I have had my world rocked and my beliefs changed for the better simply by observing her. She gives me hope in humanity.

I will always remember the nights spent at the Hyde house. I was included in family prayer, Christmas morning, countless breakfasts; lunches; and dinners, family home evenings, and many other family activities. Jesse so graciously shared his room with me. He and Jared both shared clothes with me. I felt more like a brother to them than any other person in my life. Jesse and I knew each other so well we could make eye contact and know exactly what the other person was thinking, which usually led to bursts of laughter. One quote from “The Blind Side” said, “You’re changin’ that boy’s life.” This can be said of me; my life has certainly been changed thanks to the Hyde family. Although I have not mentioned other members of the family, they have each had an impact on me in ways they don’t realize. Amy, Lawton, Tamra, Andrew, Sara, Ben, Bonnie, Matt, Bergen, Jared, Allison, Jesse, and Anthony have each been my angels at one point or another. It’s amazing how I never lived at the house while most of them were there, but they still see me as family. Amy and Lawton housed me when I took my first trip to Utah (not to mention that their sweet children have brightened my day on more than one occasion). Tamra not only is an amazing shopping partner, but she gave me hope and confidence in my decision to become LDS. I’ll never forget the conversations we had when she’d visit home. Andrew and Sara made my 2005 Christmas unforgettable. Sara taught me that what pregnant women want, pregnant women get. We had a way funny time. Ben and Bonnie were so kind when I was at school in Rexburg. One Sunday I got a phone call from Ben inviting me over for dinner. I was so happy. It was like being back at the Hydes' for another crazy fun dinner. Not to mention that Bonnie made some out-of-this-world artichoke chicken. Matt was always the silver lining to my raincloud. Bergen and I had some of my favorite conversations while going through the Oquirrh Mountain Temple open house. Jared and Allison are always there to give me a dang good laugh when I’m in Provo. Jared and I had too many memories to count in high school. He’s always gone out of his way to let me know that I’m part of the family. Jesse has been so-so. Anth- Ok, so maybe Jesse has done quite a bit. Since I’ve already talked a lot about him, I’ll just say that I never knew so much could bring two individuals together. Sister Hyde and I had a conversation that lasted through the night about how Jesse has changed my life. Now on to Anthony; he has been so awesome to me. He makes me laugh so much. He has shown me that through faith and hard work, one can overcome anything. He’s living proof that no one is predestined for failure. I’m proud to be his brother from another mother.

This entire blog goes to show that there’s not only one family in the world that took in one that wasn’t their own to help change his life around. In fact, the Hydes have brought in many people, several of them joining the Church. I’m sure I echo the opinions of numerous souls that have been blessed by the great goodness of this wonderful family. The only difference is that the Hydes haven’t gotten a movie deal yet. Let’s face it, Tuohy is the new Hyde.

My Personal Construction Crew

2009-11-10T01:15:00.001-06:00

I’ve never been one for construction. My dad being a carpenter, it’s kind of ironic. As a kid, I would go to work with him on occasion and play around the site. I usually would find the dumpster and have a hay day. I would break windows that had been thrown away, throw bricks at old toilets, and various other mischievous activities. Looking back at it all, I see why I chose my actions and disliked the laborious alternative of building: it was much easier to wreck than it was to build.

There are people in our lives that build, and there are others that wreck. Too often, wrecking is given the mask of humor. Two words that serve as sugar-coated arsenic are “just kidding.” Humor in its purest form never degrades. When one must make a joke where someone is laughing at someone else, they fall pretty low on the totem pole of humor. I see the example of the Brethren. They never cut others down to get a few laughs. Let’s face it; we do it because it’s easier. Building, however, takes effort. It’s hard work, but the rewards are endless. I’d like to dedicate this blog to some people in my life that are builders. I have my best friends that know how much they mean to me, but too often my other friends that really influence me don’t know how much they mean to me. So this is for those people who have built me up brick by brick.

Dusty Johns

At BYU-Idaho, I received the Heber J. Grant Scholarship. The Heber J. Grant Program assists individuals in their efforts to identify and overcome their own struggles. During my second semester, I got accepted to serve on the leadership council of the program. I was chosen to serve as a coordinator in the ambassadors’ area of the program. Dusty was my Area Director. During that semester, I had the opportunity to take a lot of projects under my belt. Dusty was so encouraging the entire way. While balancing a busy work schedule as a radio dj, he found time to balance work with several family emergencies that came up with his duties in the Heber J. Grant Program. He was always willing to help in any way he could. There were a few times when I felt overwhelmed. Dusty always talked me through it and offered to help me with whatever I had on my plate. After I’d finish a project, he made me feel like it was the best thing since sliced bread. “That looks awesome! You’ve outdone yourself this time.” That’s just a sample of something he’d say. Even though I realize there was probably someone who could’ve done it better and faster, Dusty always made me feel like I was the best.

Justin Stowell and Jason Webb

Justin and Jason were two of my boys at EFY during my first week. They still refer to me as “Prince.” To my amusement, I’m still not exactly sure why. These two are builders in so many ways. I saw them bare their emotions and not be ashamed of their testimonies. Being my first week as an EFY counselor, I was pretty nervous. I knew there were counselors around me who had been counselors for many more weeks than I. I wasn’t sure how my boys would respond to me, and I to them. Throughout the week, these two would always tell me that I was doing a great job. Even now, they boost me up by their compliments and positive comments. Even when I know I lack so much in so many different areas, they help me feel like I’ve made a difference.

Brandon Bennett

Brandon was my fourth companion on my mission. We served together for six weeks in Clearfield. We had a ball! I remember several occasions when we’d be walking down the road and we would just end up laughing hysterically. Elder Bennett was always a good sport when putting up with my antics. When we would walk by a bush or shrub, I’d push him into it just to see his response. Most of the time he’s end up jumping clear over it! Then he’s lovingly say, “You’re cruisin’ Elder Anderson. You’re cruisin’ for a bruisin’.” He always asked me how I was doing or how my family was. There was always a smile on his face. Elder Bennett is one of the most Christlike people I know. His patience, virtue, and charity always inspired me to be a better missionary. He still makes me laugh every time I’m around him. Sometimes love is a question, but Brandon never made it one. It was always a statement.

Penny Karren

Miss Penny. Just saying that brings a smile to my face. Penny lives in Logan, and I was a missionary in her ward. We met through our musical abilities. My companion at the time, Elder Dennis, sang, too. So we sang in one of her choirs. I’ve respected Penny from the beginning. As a single mom of four children, she worked several jobs to keep things afloat. She also served in various capacities in the Church. She performed what I refer to as ABCD, above and beyond the call of duty. Miss Penny was our surrogate mother. She’d make us breakfast sometimes. When we spoke in church in wards other than her own, she’d come hear us speak. But what makes Penny a builder is her never-ending torrent of compliments. She makes me feel appreciated as a friend. Her spirituality is an ensign to me and her ability to weave the gospel into every fiber of her life’s tapestry is unmatched. I know I’m more complete because of her and her unrelenting effort to make the world a better place one compliment at a time.

Liz Craig

Sister Craig was the session director my second week of EFY. She stands at 6 feet tall with no shoes, but the biggest thing about her is her heart. Liz and I hit it off immediately. She keeps me in stitches with her clever quips and witty remarks. EFY at BYU is a large event. That week there were about 800 kids in our session. So often I saw her spending time taking pictures with individual youth and talking to them. She is an example to me of realizing the importance of one. Last time I called her, she answered, and I could tell that she was busy doing something. As I soon found out, she was rushing through the airport and was currently going through metal detectors. But she still answered my phone call. While I know she is one of those Mormon celebrities, e.g., John Bytheway, Brad Wilcox, Sherri Dew, has talks on cd, has speaking gigs all over the place, and tops it off by being a supermom to several kids (one of which is an understatement for the word “rambunctious”). Liz is a person that builds others higher than she is tall.

Tracey Steward

Sister Steward is the current Relief Society President in my ward. Tracey and I hit it off quickly for some reason. I love her shoot-from-the-hip personality and unabashed approach to letting people know they are welcome in any environment. Tracey always uses kind language. Words like “sweetheart” and “hun” aren’t uncommon in her vocabulary. She, too, is an ABCD type of a person. Relief Society President is a hefty calling, especially in our ward. Yet I never hear her complain. I always hear her trying to find some way to help more people. When I spoke in sacrament meeting, I felt like I did an ok job. That was my 53rd sacrament talk. So I tend to compare my talks and kind of rate them. I thought that it was ok, but could’ve used improvement in some areas. Sister Steward had nothing but good to say to me. She told me for several weeks how great my talk was. I’m sure it wasn’t worth the praise she gave it, but it made me feel like someone listened and appreciated the comments I had to offer. She never fails to make my day a little brighter than she found it.

I hope that by telling you about some of the builders in my life, you can see more builders in your own. Trust me; there are many more people that I wanted to write about. I actually had a much longer list but had to cut over 8 people from it. These people have made me try a little harder to be a builder. May we build more than we wreck.

Hometeaching: No Greater Call

2009-10-11T02:30:00.007-05:00

Tonight I was driving home from the bowling alley and had the music blaring. Something made me turn off the music and just ponder. As my mind was bouncing between myriad subjects, something stood out to me: the importance of home teachers and the home teaching program. You see, yesterday kind of ended on a bad note at work. It was intensified by other problems, and soon I was fully distraught. I started going through the list in my head of people to whom I could turn. One after one, I began to rule out each person. Not to say that those who came into my mind wouldn’t be able to help in some fashion, but I needed something that didn’t seem to be there. My solution was to call my best friend, Jesse. We talked for half an hour, and my beasts were at bay for a season. The only problem is that Jesse is in Idaho at school. Don’t get me wrong; I have many people that I adore that live here. But it is a very unique relationship to have: the one between a Latter-day Saint and his/her home teacher.

The One Who Blazed the Trail

I’ve had two sets of home teachers in my membership in the Church. I’ll begin with the first. Bro. Jim Gardner was my newly called Elder’s Quorum President when I had just turned 18 and began attending Elder’s Quorum. I had only been a member for 3 months, and this new age group was not only a new experience, but it was an intimidating one. Bro. Gardner helped that transition so much. He assigned himself as my home teacher, and the year-long dynasty began. Bro. Gardner reminded me of the Savior in that he led by example. He didn’t home teach me every month because I was a number. He did it out of love. I knew it; I felt it. His lovely wife would make dinner and I would go over to his home on a monthly basis. We’d talk about life, both his and mine. I could turn to him for anything. I remember one time when I was going to get a bite to eat between General Conference sessions. On the way, I got a flat tire. I called Jim and he was there in 5 minutes to help me change my tire. I never doubted his devotion. While I was on my mission, the Gardners moved to Washington, D.C. where Jim got a job at the White House. They sent me a Christmas card on my mission. It brightened my week. He set the standard for me as a home teacher. He inspired me to set a goal to never settle for anything less than 100%. I haven’t slipped below that line; I have no intentions of doing so.

What Lit My Fire

During my mission, I saw the wonderful blessings of dedicated home teachers. I also saw the devastating effect of non-existent ones. While serving in one city, a neighboring stake of the one in which I was serving was having severe activity problems. They were having to combine wards to make things stay afloat. They couldn’t see what was causing very active members to simply quit coming. They found their answer while looking at a report of the stake. The entire stake was averaging 8% home teaching. 8%!!! That’s ridiculous! I’ve found that you can compare home teaching percentages with sacrament meeting attendance and usually come within 3%. That works most of the time. After seeing what I saw on my mission, I reaffirmed my vow to gain perfection in that area of my life. It was on my mission I learned that even if you miss your home teaching for the month, Satan won't.

The One Who Kept It Burning

When I went out to school at BYU-Idaho, I was given a wonderful home teaching companionship: Tanner Stauss and Spencer Waddoups. Tanner was the Elder’s Quorum President. Once again, I had an amazing example in front of me. Tanner and Spencer came every month and were my good buds in between. We would have dinner together on occasion. Several times Tanner would just stop me as I was walking by his door or at church and talk to me. So many times it was the answer to a silent plea. On the other hand, at times I would make the verbal request. I remember receiving a blessing of comfort that he gave me. I felt God’s love through him. I knew that Tanner loved me. It’s funny, because we have almost nothing in common. He’s into sports, yoga, accounting, sweating, etc. I’m into everything opposite – crafts, music, definitely NOT sweating. But on one thing we were united: becoming more perfect Saints and children of our Common Father.

The Fight to Keep It Alive

Now I am back in Memphis in my family ward. Being the only member in my family is hard. Yes, it has perks. I get to fully enjoy sacrament from wherever I wish to sit, with no distractions from tiny terrors. I can virtually say anything on my mind and I don’t have to worry about embarrassing anyone but myself. But along with that comes the solitude of lone conversion. I get to learn all about families being sealed for time and all eternity, but I never get to know what that feels like. I can’t sing the hymn “Families Can Be Together Forever”. It’s just too painful. I never get to come home and discuss the wonderful doctrines that were just taught at church or General Conference. I am always under the magnifying glass that’s waiting for me to combust by straying one jot from the path. FHE is a rare treat for me. I only get it if someone invites me over for it. I don’t usually ask because I don’t want to be the third wheel or interrupt a real family’s time together. Sunday dinners never happen. Occassionally I'll be invited over for one, and I love when it happens. Even when I helped bless or pass the sacrament, something that got to me every time was when the person conducting would say, “You may now go sit with your families.” It was yet another gentle nudge that I didn’t have one to go sit with. I never have had a true “father’s blessing.” When I do need a blessing of comfort, I really have to weigh who I get it from. With my former home teachers, I would run to them with no thought to receive a blessing if I was in need. I just learned who one of my home teachers is. I've yet to be home taught, but hopefully it will happen. This blog might sound bitter, and it may very well have some traces of vinegar, but it’s the truth. It is times like this that I recommit myself to my 100% goal. I never want the families that I home teach to feel what I’ve felt. I want to be the Jim or Tanner in their lives. Although the bar has been set high by them, I can do anything the Lord asks, especially if it’s my Priesthood responsibility.

So if you know someone who is alone in their Mormon excursion, recognize that it’s hard. Even those of us who have stalwart testimonies of the gospel can get discouraged. When they reach out, are you there? Sometimes I feel like we first-generation members with no kids, parents, spouses, or family in the Church are the modern-day Willie and Martin handcart companies. Don’t leave us on the plains. I, too, would like to make it to the Promised Land. Oh, and all of my limbs in tact would be preferred.

P.S. Click here for a talk given by President Ezra Taft Benson in Priesthood Session of General Conference about the importance of home teaching. It's an amazing read!

Faithful Friends vs. Fading Fauxs

2009-09-06T22:57:00.002-05:00

I got home from my mission in Ogden, Utah about 10 months ago. I was in Memphis for 2 months before I went out to school at BYU-Idaho. During those two months, my friend Trevor and I hung out a lot. The only downside with this was that Trevor still had another year before he could go on his mission. So we were on different levels spiritually. While out at BYU-Idaho, I was in a Mormon bubble. I was used to it by then having served in Utah. I really liked it out there. But I forgot how much I loved the uphill struggle as a Mormon. I was reminded of that when I came home about two weeks ago. I worked as an EFY counselor over the summer. So I went from the epicenter of this Mormon oasis to the buckle of the Bible Belt. There was a huge difference this time though. I had 3 friends that had recently returned home from their missions, and Trevor had his mission call to Honduras and was leaving within a month. Instead of hanging out doing absolutely nothing of value, the gospel was an integral part of our conversation. Yes, we still watched movies and played games that weren't "churchy," but we discussed gospel things. Mormon Golf has become my new favorite iPhone app since being with these guys. On several occasions I have been invited by Matt, Jesse, and Trevor to attend the temple as a midday activity. My point is this: true friends carry you to Jesus Christ.

The Rundown

While at EFY, I mingled with some choice young men. I remember sitting in the chapel during Friday's "Taking It Home" portion with my company and having a conversation with one of my boys. He had a friend with him at EFY that was making very difficult changes in his life. We were discussing how to make sure that these changes stuck and became permanent. My mind turned to Mark chapter 2. I recounted to this young man the story found in that chapter. It begins with the Savior being in this house of some sort. The building was very crowded, and there was no room for anyone to really get to Jesus. However, not too far from this building was a man that was stricken with the palsy. The man with palsy had his friends around him. His friends decided to carry him to the building where the Savior was and make a way for him to reach his Master. They went to the roof of the building and cut a hole in it. They then lowered the man on a cot of sorts through the hole, and the man was now within the Savior's reach. Jesus Christ healed the man, and the man went on his way a whole person.

I feel that we all have friends that are somehow stricken with some sort of spiritual palsy. In my personal life, I have found myself spiritually handicapped on occasion. While studying this passage of scripture, I have come up with a few other options that laid before this man's friends.

The Lip Service

The friends could have merely prayed for the man. This would have shown that these people were believers and had faith. The problem with this approach is that it seems to follow the warning that the boy Joseph received about the Apostasy from Christ in the Sacred Grove: Their lips draw near to Me, but their hearts are far from Me. This plan lacked action. It left the problem solving to God. I find myself being in this category at times. I'll pray for someone to come to church or for someone to accept the gospel. Instead, I should pray for the Spirit to guide my words as I invite someone to come to church or for someone to feel the Spirit when I invite someone to learn more about the gospel. There is a big difference in the level of faith with this plan.

The Straight-up Rebellion

The friends could have been like the ante-converted Alma the Younger and led the man astray, completely rebelling against God. This is a more obvious problem. Not many of us do this... hopefully. It's hard to accomplish this with good intentions; however, we need to make sure that we are not leading people astray unknowingly. This could be putting doubt in someone's mind. I've known people who always seem to have some sort of alternative to a miracle. When someone receives a blessing and is either comforted or healed, these people will provide a reason why it happened other than the Priesthood. It may be, "Well, that medicine probably kicked in," or "They probably just calmed down and put things in perspective," or "It was just nothing in the first place." When we tear down faith, doubt takes its place. We need not be sowers of doubt, but we should be builders of faith.

The Disappearing Act

The last alternative is the one that we must be weary of the most. It's not as detrimental as leading them in the complete opposite direction, as discussed previously. But it is very close to it. We are probably more guilty of this one than any other one mentioned. That option is the one where the man's friends are nowhere to be found in the first place. We've all heard of the term "fair-weather friend." Simply put, these are the people that are around when things are going smoothly. They turn up every now and then to ask a favor and might drop that occasional wall post on facebook. However, when tough times come and the waters are high, they seem to always be busy and can never really offer much. It seems as though they serve as a modern-day Pharisee that will be a face and be all about talk but never really be what they claim to be. This is dangerous because it's generally not until the battle has begun that the one in need of salvation sees the true colors of these yellow-bellied imposters. Then the feelings of despair take over, and the loss of hope is prevalent. This is not the Savior's way.

The Way

These men demonstrated discipleship in action. What amazes me is that they could have found so many reasons along the way to not help their friend. I'm sure they dropped their current projects. One of them probably missed Oprah or a football game in order to accommodate this friend. Then they got to the place where Jesus was, and it was full. They could've dropped him there and told him to wait for Jesus upon His exit or just left him entirely. My idea would've been to try to send in a runner or to perhaps call to Jesus from the door. Surely the Savior would come to a man, a believer. The question is not if the Redeemer will come to us. Will we come to the Redeemer as the redeemed? And will we bring friends with us? I have no doubt that these friends had experienced the healing power of Christ in their lives, whether it be physically or spiritually it makes no difference. Once they had tasted of that fruit, their desire was to share it. These men were persistent, innovative, and faithful. We never learn who these men are or hear anything else about them. They are added to the laundry list of unsung heroes in the scriptures. Not to worry, their song will be sung by concourses of angels.

The Walk with Him

I'm trying to be more like these friends this palsy-stricken man had. Thankfully I have an arsenal of people with whom I place my complete trust. These friends have carried me to my Savior in times past. A couple of them have literally been the means of my coming to find eternal salvation. The other have kept me in the Promised Land. I know it'll take a lot of work for me to raise my caliber to that standard. My friends are better people than I can even imagine of being, at times. I have been spiritually healed. Now is my time to arise, take up my bed, and walk.

I Have Been Changed For Good

2009-08-28T13:31:00.000-05:00

I recently finished working over the summer as an EFY (Especially For Youth) counselor. It was for a period of three weeks at BYU in Provo, Utah. On Monday morning we would get a new group of kids. I had three co-counselors my first week, two co-counselors my second week, and one co-counselor my third week. I had 8 boys in my immediate group every week. I had 14-15 year olds my first two weeks and 16-18 year olds my last week. Throughout the week we played games, went to classes, had devotionals, went to dances, did service projects, read scriptures, and loads of other spiritual things. I had to get all of those informational tidbits out of the way. Here’s the reason why I think I had the greatest job in the world.

First Impressions Aren’t Always Correct

Each week I would meet my boys at 1:35 on Monday afternoon and get to know them a little. I’d find out where they were from, what grade they were in, what their hobbies were, and some other random facts. Without fail, I’d always make assumptions about some, if not all, of the boys. Undoubtedly, they would make their assumptions about me, too. It didn’t take long until we all realized that we suck at guessing things about people. The ones I just knew would be “problem children” ended up being my best friends. Especially after my third week, the boys looked back and noticed how far off their first impressions were, not only about me, but about each other. It taught me a lesson.

Teach Them Correct Principles, and Let Them Govern Themselves

There was always one or two boys who wanted to see how far they could push the envelope. As I mentioned before, these were the ones that became my best friends. Throughout the week, I had the opportunity to give devotionals each night. The boys also had the chance to teach devotionals in the morning. To say that EFY is loaded with the Spirit is an understatement. By the time Friday rolled around, they have been completely submersed by the Spirit all week.

Friday night is when all the youth usually like to sneak out to go wherever. That’s how teenagers are. One week comes to mind in particular when two boys told me Monday afternoon that they were going to sneak out to go get Del Taco. I said, “No you won’t.” They insisted that they would and asked if I would chase them down own or stop them. I replied that I wouldn’t. I said, “After experiencing what you’re about to experience, you’ll stop yourselves.” They didn’t believe me. When Saturday morning rolled around, they said, “Jared, we just couldn’t do it. We just couldn’t do it.”

Mission Possible

Many of my boys hadn’t really thought much about a mission. EFY caused them to reflect on it a lot more than usual. Not to mention, I talked about my mission all the time. To have 14-17 year old boys come up to you and promise you that they will serve an honorable, full-time mission is a humbling experience. I truly saw some Stripling Warriors over my three weeks.

You Can Change

The growth I saw in these boys exceeds anything I’ve ever seen before. Let me give you a background on some of the 24 boys that I had this summer. I had 4 boys with chastity issues, 1 boy that had gotten out of rehab just weeks prior, 2 boys that came from abusive homes, 1 boys that had been addicted to cocaine and heroin in the past, 1 boy that had other Word of Wisdom problems, another boy that had been addicted to alcohol, and several others that had various other demons. All of my boys came out on top. I had 3 boys give me their iPods and tell me to wipe them clean. I had a boy bring his earrings to EFY; he broke them Thursday night and threw them away. I had 10 of my boys talk to their Bishops within a week of going home. On Friday night, we had our company devotional. Emily and I were asked by our kids if we could sit in a circle. As we sat down, one of the boys asked, “Could we just sit here in silence and look into each others’ eyes so we can see the light of Christ in them? I never want us to forget this moment.” What teenager says that?!

These are the people I got to work with. These are the people that have made me change for the better. So many of them tell me that I helped them, that they love me, that EFY wouldn’t have been the same without me. I stand in awe of them more than they ever could of me. To see such amazing young men rise to their call and honor their Priesthood is a wondrous sight. I saw young men hugging each other with streams of tears falling down their faces. For the first time in my life, I saw true charity. I’ve never been able to quite define charity, and I guess I still can’t put it in words. But I know what it looks like now. I love those boys with a love I’ve never felt for anyone before. Having just returned home from Disneyland, I’m used to people saying that Disneyland is the happiest place in the world. I beg to differ. That place would be EFY.

When You Wish Upon a Star

2009-08-25T02:37:00.000-05:00

Once upon a time, 75 EFY counselors decided to go to Disneyland to reward themselves for weeks of hard work. I just got home last week, and it was quite the adventure. Here are a few of those adventures.

Hooray for Hollywood

Maggie, Breanna, and I headed into LA on Monday and hit up Hollywood and the Walk of Fame. I got my picture of Queen Latifah’s star. That made me satisfied. I actually had to shoo people off of it. While we were walking down the Walk of Fame, we saw this guy on his knees polishing a star. It was then that I realized why I go to college. Let’s not forget about how a guy dressed in a lion suit roared at Maggie. We also got to hit up Huntington Beach. It was my first time in the Pacific Ocean.

The Common Sense Game… FAIL

So we decided to go to the grocery store and buy food for lunch instead of buying food at the park. Breanna and I decided to ride with three other EFY counselors. As we’re pulling into the store’s parking lot, the driver said, “Uh oh. I think we’re out of gas. What do we do?” This was the first question in the common sense game. My answer was, “Park.” Aren’t there really only two choices? 1) Park in a spot, or 2) Coast to a stop. I won’t even get into how slow they shopped. Actually, I will. To summarize it, Breanna and I had time to leisurely shop, check out, make sandwiches, eat them, go back inside to buy Gatorade, and drink it before they had checked out. When we got outside, then we had to solve the no gas problem. This portion of the common sense game has multiple parts. First, they walked to the gas station across the street to see if they had a gas can. They didn’t, so they walked back. Then they took my Gatorade bottle to fill up with gas. They put gas in it, but only decided to fill it up halfway. This wasn’t enough. So they emptied a half-gallon bottle of water and filled it with gas. Then they poured that in the tank. Still no response. This is where the driver made intellectual comments beyond my capacity to understand. “Are we sure it’s not something else?” she asked. Let’s see. The needle is below empty, and the radio is working. How many options are there? Then we start calling people to come give us a ride back to the hotel. While on the phone, one of our other friends asked, “Does anyone there have AAA?” I relayed that question, and the driver said, “Oh. I have AAA. Why?” What the retarded?! I then said, “I wish we had someone who knew something about cars.” One of the guys that was there the entire time then piped up and said, “Oh. I’m an auto mechanic.” To wrap it up, we got a ride from Spencer, and AAA showed up to fill the car with gas. It fired right up. Epic fail.

Hidden Mickeys

Apparently, it’s a Disneyland tradition to hide Mickey Mouse heads in every ride and around the park. We found them on the following: Soarin’ Over California, Space Mountain, Pirates of the Caribbean, Haunted Mansion, Indiana Jones, and probably a few others I can’t think of right now. The only problem with the hidden Mickeys is that people have a tendency of making some up. One that I found was in Soarin’ Over California, there are jets that fly by and leave a smoke trail. That smoke spells “Mickey” in Braille.

And I Said What About Breakfast at…Denny’s

Our hotel shared a parking lot with Denny’s. An EFY tradition led us to Denny’s every Monday at midnight. We continued that tradition for week 13. Maggie, McKay, and I went four times during the week. Those were some of the most magical moments of the week. Maggie and her bacon and sausage links kept us rolling. McKay lost his voice from screaming so much and ended up sounding a lot like Harvey Fierstein. That provided hours of entertainment. Thank you Denny’s for hosting our insanity.

The Rat Race Home

I had a wedding to be at in Ogden at 12:30. Breanna and I decided to leave Disneyland at 9:30 Thursday night. That would give us 10 hours to drive back and 2 hours for me to get back to Ogden. That would be plenty of time. However, the elements hedged up our way. Baker, California decided to close 2 of the 3 lanes on I-15 . . . for 40 miles!! That kept us tied up for 2 hours! Then we went on our way to St. George. 7 miles outside of St. George, we ran out of gas. I got out and pushed a little bit to get us rolling. We coasted downhill for 3 miles. Breanna and I got out and pushed some more. She happened to be wearing flip-flops. She tripped and began to be dragged alongside my car. She let go and was almost run over. Of course she was laughing the entire time. We called Karissa Corrigeux to bring us some gas, which she graciously did. After filling up with gas, we got back on to the interstate. I was behind an 18-wheeler going really slow, so I sped up and went around it as we merged into the middle lane. Apparently that’s illegal. Or so the officer that pulled me over said. I ended up getting off with a warning after he laughed at my series of misfortunes. I ended up getting to the wedding at 12:33. All was well in Zion.

P.S. And that's when I realized that every girl I know named Dixie is easy...